May 26, 2011

Kai and his PDD.

This past year and a half of this adorable cute boy has been rough. He has struggled a lot, over came many obstacles, and is still a happy little monster. We love this boy to death, and are so thankful each and every day for the light and love he brings into our home. I'm up late tonight worrying about him, and some things we recently learned about him. Things that will help him to develop, grow, and be happy. But the news is hard to swallow. My eyes tear up typing this. I worry about what people think of him, or how they will treat him. I would never want anyone to think anything bad, or have Kai feel bad. I would do anything I can to keep him from that, one of my reasoning's for posting this. (And so I don't have to explain this over and over. I want people to understand this sweet boy.)
This week Kai was "diagnosed" with PDD. Pervasive Development Disorder. He saw a psychologist this week that watched Kai, interacted with him, and talked with me. He did not want to diagnose Kai with Autism because it is based on a spectrum. But he did say, that he would say Kai has mild autism. Kai is very young to be diagnosed with this, but its so helpful to know now, rather than later, to get a head start on this adventure. I would say that we are very lucky to have this knowledge now, rather than later, when it would be a bigger issue. 

The only reason I am blogging about this, is so everyone is aware. It is really hard as a parent to have a loving and happy child, and have people asking or telling you that something is wrong, or isn't right with your child. Who is to say what "normal" is. I want everyone to be aware of his situation, to know Kai is OK. He is happy, smart, and loving. To me, that is "normal". All kids, talk, walk, sit up, etc. on their own time. Kids should not be a race, or a competition. 

We are very lucky to have found a label, as much as I hate giving children or people labels. It will help us educate ourselves and Kai, so that he can hopefully out grow this. The psychologist believes he has a high chance of over coming this, and being very close, if not completely normal. It's just going to take work.

A little bit about PDD. Not PDDNOS, Pervasive development disorder not otherwise specified.

Children with PDDs, such as autism, can display a wide range of symptoms which can range in severity from mild to disabling. They also vary widely in their individual abilities, intelligence, and behavior.
These are some symptoms and behaviors that Kai has.
  • Difficulty with verbal communication, including problems using and understanding language.
  • Difficulty with non-verbal communication, such as gestures and facial expressions.
  • Difficulty with social interaction, including relating to people and to his or her surroundings.
  • Unusual ways of playing with toys and other objects.
  • Difficulty adjusting to changes in routine or familiar surroundings.
  • Repetitive body movements or patterns of behavior, such as hand flapping, spinning, and head banging.
  • Changing response to sound. (The child may be very sensitive to some noises and seem to not hear others.)

We feel so blessed looking back at the pregnancy, at 20-something weeks the high risk Dr. told me there is a high risk that he might not make it, shortly after I was on hospital bed rest, thinking Kai would come at any time, he fought until coming early at 34 weeks. Two rounds of RSV, and being hospitalized, and now 18 months with Dax as his brother :) He is a fighter, and he will fight through this. I have to remember this: Kai has no idea he has PDD. He knows that he is loved, and is happy. He has no reason to cry, feel bad, or embarrassed. As a mom, sometimes I worry too much about my feelings and worries, instead of him.  I need to start thinking like Kai. I'm Loved, Kai is loved, our family is loved, we need to be happy. We are SO blessed. I don't know what I would do with out Kai, his smile, personality, and the joy that comes from 
him. I hope that friends and family will also see Kai, as Kai, and not as a label, like we do.

I used spell check, but hey it's 3:00AM!! So forgive me... there may be mistakes... 


The Terry's said...

prayers heading your way! i see him as loving little boy! and seriously that's all that matters in the end that love.

Alecia said...

oh kim! i am glad you guys got to the bottom of this though. i have a special place in my heart (that is so cheesy) for kids with disabilities. i love them. they have a certain sweetness that "normal" kids just don't have. i also hate the word normal and i hate labels. times have changed so much though, schools have great programs and loving teachers (i've worked with some!) that help these special kids. kids don't bully and make fun of these kids, instead they love them. (i've seen this too working in schools and have been so impressed at how times have changed) Kai is such a sweet happy little man and you are right, he doesn't know he has a disability, so i hope and pray for him that no one will feel the need to treat him differently. good luck with everything, this news would be hard on a mother. but a little advice , don't wait or look forward to the days when he might be "normal", instead try to accept him for who he is. this would be easier said than done, i don't know if i could do it. i will pray for you. of course we all want "normal" kids, but like you said a happy, sweet little boy is normal, or even better than normal! i agree that all babies and kids do things on their own time, regardless of a disability and we shouldn't compare or make a competition out of it. its annoying and hurtful whether we mean it or not. good luck on this adventure, please let me know if i can help out.

anna said...

little Kai Bug. i love him so much!! all i see when i see Kai is a sweet, happy boy who smiles non-stop and loves everyone.
that's who he is now and i think that's who he will always be.
and he will be loved greatly for that.

i love you guys!

Ashley C. Griffiths said...

Kim, you are an amazing mom that does everything she can for her kids. Your two boys are so lucky to have such a sensitive, creative, loving, and beautiful mom (inside and out). Every child learns differently and grows differently. Which does not mean he as a DIS-ability, he has other abilities that are strengths and some abilities that need to be continually developed. He is an extrodinary boy and he is such a tender and sweet spirit. You know he was sent to your amazing family because he brings so much joy, so much love, and so much peace. I love you and I love Kai. You have an amazing journey ahead of you (will it be hard, sometimes, will it be rewarding, always) and you are not alone in this journey! Thank you for being the best mom Kai could ask for. He is so lucky to have you. And, I am lucky to call you my friend.

Erin said...

hey kim. i know i am several days late commenting, but i wanted to comment anyway. i had no idea what was going on with you guys. i haven't known you very long, but i still feel for your situation. kai is so lucky to have you as his mother. i am sure that no matter what happens you will always be there for him to lean on and get support from. anyone that would judge him (or you) harshly is probably not worth having in your life anyway. take care. let me know if i can help.

Kaeli and Doug said...

Kim, You are such a great mother and I hope you realize that. I love both of your little guys so much and I hope you know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you. Kai is a beautiful boy and will be just exactly what Heavenly Father wants him to be....and that is something Great!! You guys will be in our prayers. Keep you chin up and remember there isn't anything we can't overcome with the Lord's help. I love you and let me know if there is anything I can do. :)